It occurs to me that I don't use this blog hardly ever. Then again, I kind of doubt that anyone actually reads this anyway. Why do I still have a blog then? I don't know. I started my LJ when I was thirteen, and since then I've always had a blog in some form or another. It's a ten year old habit. Even though a lot has changed in the past ten years.
My last post was in October. Since then, a lot has happened. A lot of which I can't/won't get into here.
There have been a lot of ups and downs, especially in the last two months. Some big stuff went down two months ago, and it kind of threw me, big time. However, all of that showed me how many friends I have and how amazing they are. I know that they will be there for me, always. It's really sad how often I take my friends for granted. This is especially true with some friends I've had for a long time, who I don't get to see that often because of busy schedules. What I love, though, is that when we do see each other we can pick right back up where we left off, almost like no time has passed.
I went to a PostSecret event at the University of Memphis last month. It wasn't really what I expected. I don't know what I thought it was going to be. It's not that I didn't like it, it's just, well, I've always heard everyone talking about how touching and moving and emotional they are, and I didn't really think it was. However, it make me realize something. I have a lot of secrets. Things I don't talk about for various reasons, things that I would prefer to pretend had never happened, things that I want to forget. However, I don't think I have any secrets that I have never told anyone. There are different things that I share with different friends, but at least one person knows each of my secrets. That realization makes me feel kind of safe, like I don't have to carry things alone.
School is going pretty well. I think I have As in all of my classes. I just registered for the fall this week, and I'm planning on trying to go full time, for the first time since I dropped out in 2008. I'm not really sure how the financial situation is going to play out though, so these plans are tentative. However, I recently figured out that if I don't start taking more classes, I will be 30+ by the time I finish law school, and I would rather not be in school for the next 6-8 years. Of course, my plans also hinge on me actually getting into law school, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Besides, if Elle Woods can do it, I can. Right?
Work is a day to day thing. It's been more bad than good lately, but in five years I've learned that when I think it is never going to get better, it always does. This, plus the fact that I really don't want to have to start over somewhere else, I hate looking for jobs, and I love most of the people with whom I work is enough to keep me here. For now, anyway.
Overall, things have been less than wonderful lately. But I'm still here, I'm still fighting, and I believe that everything will turn around and be okay. My *issues* still exist, and are still things that I have to deal with, sometimes on a regular basis and sometimes not. However, I've made it this far, and I know my friends are always here for me.
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